Listening.

I’ve been wondering lately… as Mom was in the hospital for the last time, I promised her I would always listen to her. But outside of one dream, I really have not “heard” her lately, and it has been troubling me. I’ve talked to her, and asked for help, but nothing. Or so I thought.

There is an acquaintance in my life who has turned…difficult. Without going into detail, let's just say I’ve been generally beside myself with how to deal with it, since this person is connected to an activity that I don’t wish to quit. The person is a Christian, and Galations 6:7 kept rolling through my head – As you sow, so shall you reap. But how to make this difficult person reap what they’re sowing?

Last night I realized how Tired I was of it. How ready I was to just… ignore it. Discussing the situation with a dear friend helped a lot – but I realized that I can’t wear my friends out over this. And today? I’ve come to the realization that the bad feelings are hurting only me. That the passage from Galations applies to ME too – If I sow with anger, I reap heartache.

So. I turn the bad in on itself, do my best to lose my anger toward this person and love them. I can still ignore their words if I need to - but I will do it with the aim of helping me, not to hurt them.

“Where did THIS come from?” I’m wondering. This isn’t like me! I usually hold on to hurts waaay longer than this. It just now hit me, duh, and put a huge smile on my face.
Hi, Mom. Thanks. Love you forever.