Valentine.

Snowy Valentine's morning... the choir isn't singing today, so Tom and I took the morning off from church. We exchanged our Valentines over breakfast, and now Tom is in his workshop. Even though the sound of the table saw is cutting into the Mozart on the stereo up here, I have to smile. Table saw means happy Tom, working on getting our new bathroom cabinets installed.

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So while he works, I'm "working" too - although my task this morning is a little more on the interior. The little meditation I read upstairs has really grabbed me - It speaks of some of the things that refine a life and make it what it is: all the disappointments, the mistakes, the failures big and small. All those things that, bit by bit, can carve and shape the soul into a finer path.

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I've been feeling this for some time now. I'm realizing that I have lived my younger life with great passion and not a whole lot of self-control. Oh, nothing illegal, immoral, or anything like that. But prideful. Arrogant. Exploding into so many directions at once that it's no wonder crash-and-burn has happened so often in my life. No wonder I've found myself butting heads with other people.

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In so many cases, I've found myself moving on - leaving a job, a singing group, a business endeavor - because it was simply too exhausting and painful to continue. I don't know if some of the wounds will ever really heal. I don't know if I'll ever want to speak to some of the people again. But the important thing, I think, comes simply in the moving on.

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The point now is the Peace. I'm beginning to feel like the rough spots are being smoothed out, the arrogance is being tempered into experience, the adrenaline-filled angst is being replaced with Calm. And I'm realizing that I'm not the one doing this, really... it's being Done. All I have to do is listen, and gratefully learn.